From Twitter To Family: How Two Girls Made A Dream Come True

Posted on October 30, 2020 by Amy Goller | 0 comments

January 2016. Two girls become part of a small group of friends that connected on Twitter over the same TV show. Yes, we are that kind of nerd; the kind that spends too much time online talking about their favourite episodes.

Anyway, back to the story.

Kait and I formed a friendship that didn’t just connect back to the show we were watching but quickly extended into our day to day life. Before we knew it we were sharing just about every aspect of our lives with each other. We would literally spend every waking moment talking on the phone or via video chat or texting. And it probably doesn’t come as a surprise to anyone who’s spent more than fifteen minutes on the internet that, of course, one thing led to another and our friendship turned into something more.

Yes, we are also “those” people.

And that’s where things get interesting. Did I mention that Kait hadn’t even figured out until that point that she was into girls? Did I mention that we lived on opposite sides of the world? Because that part kind of matters.

I lived in the UK at the time but am originally from the Netherlands. Kait was in Australia. So, what on Earth do you do when you’ve fallen in love with someone on the other side of the world? Well, that’s a very good question because we had absolutely no idea. After a year of trying to figure things out, from opposites sides of the globe, I eventually jumped on a plane and flew to Melbourne. If we were going to make this thing work, we first had to meet in person to figure out for sure if a relationship was what we wanted. 

I arrived in Melbourne for the first time in March 2017. Kait was waiting for me at the airport. Let me tell you, after having seen someone on a video screen almost every day for months on end, there isn’t much that can prepare you for seeing them in person for the first time. What followed were three weeks of spending time together, learning about each other and trying to figure out if this – us- was something that could even work. When it came time to fly back to London, the intense breaking of our hearts confirmed what we already knew; we loved each other more than anything and we had to find a way to make this work. We just didn’t know how.

Lesbian Couple trying to conceive with donated sperm

I flew back to the UK at the end of March and in June, Kait came to stay with me for nine weeks. In those nine weeks we got a real taste of life together. Kait got to know my son from my first marriage, Maxwell, and we travelled around the UK, spent time with my family in the Netherlands and in between we did all the same mundane stuff any other couple does. Nine weeks went by in the blink of an eye and when it came time to say goodbye again, we both almost fell apart. There aren’t any words to describe the agony of having to separate at the airport without knowing when we’d see each other again. Going back to video calls and texting… It turned out it would be almost six months. Six months of separation, six months of misunderstandings because text message isn’t the same as an actual voice, six months of counting down the days, six months of “I miss you.”

Christmas 2017 I spent with Kait in Australia and on Christmas Eve she gave me a card that said, “Find the sparkle on the tree and a question you will see.” On the tree was a bauble, inside it a ring and a little metal tag with the words “Marry me?” I answered without hesitation. “Yes”.

 Lesbian couple meet on twitter and marry in Australia

Each goodbye was hard but the Christmas one was different. I was saying goodbye to my fiancée and from there on out we had to find a way of being together. We started the process of the Australian Prospective Marriage Visa (an option only available to us because Australia voted “Yes” to marriage equality) which eventually leads to an application for a Partner Visa. The process was intense, (I don’t think there is a single aspect of our lives that Immigration doesn’t know) and expensive. From Christmas 2017 it was another 6 months before we saw each other again. In that time period we lodged our visa and hoped for a fast processing time. We managed to spend most of June, July, and August 2018 together in both Australia and the UK. And then we had the opportunity for me to try and get a long-term tourist visa. Once granted, it would mean I could wait out the processing of our Marriage Visa in Australia and we’d finally be together. Bearing in mind that at that point it had been around three months since we lodged the visa and the average processing time was 12-18 months, it would most likely be a while. A long-term tourist visa meant I would not be able to work once I arrived, but we’d cope. Being together was all that mattered.  We secured the tourist visa and suddenly realized… this was it. I was coming to Australia to live. The whole long distance thing and not seeing each other for months on end was over. 

Australian Lesbian couple doing IVF to conceive a baby 

I landed in Melbourne on the 28th September 2018. We were over the moon. We were finally together. Not even four weeks later I received an email from Immigration informing me they were ready to grant my Marriage Visa. Total processing time was just short of 5 months instead of the 12-18 we had expected. Since it was lodged offshore, I had to be outside of Australia to receive the grant so we quickly arranged a holiday to New Zealand. Within hours of arriving in Christchurch, I received the email we had been so desperate for. Visa granted.

We got married on the 24th of March 2019. March 24 was the day I left Australia after coming here to meet Kait for the first time. Two years since our first “goodbye” we said, “I do”.  Everything we had fought to overcome up until that point, was finally behind us. We had made it.

 Lesbian couple marry in Australia

The next thing we wanted to achieve was having children. Kait had started her solo IVF journey in 2009. By the time we met she had done seven full egg collections, fourteen transfers in total and one round of donor eggs. Two miscarriages and a whole lot of negatives later, she still didn’t have the dream she’d been chasing for over a decade. Having to accept that she was most likely never going to get pregnant or give birth was hard. Infertility is something that can – and often does- break a person’s heart and soul. The only thing Kait ever wanted was to have children. When we met, way before we were even in any sort of relationship and we were still just friends, I flippantly offered “I’d donate my eggs to you.” Little did we know what the future had in store for us.

So here we were, almost ten years since Kait started IVF. We saw the doctor who had supported her through all her cycles. I did a full fertility screen and tests came back favourable. I’d gotten pregnant easily with Maxwell so it wasn’t quite unexpected. We signed up with the clinic for IUI and the long wait to reach the top of the list for donor sperm began. It was during this wait that a friend suggested we use a known donor and after originally dismissing the idea, we began seriously considering it. Pretty quickly we found a donor we were both comfortable with and in December of 2019, we had our first attempt at a no-frills home insemination. 

Two weeks later we found I was pregnant.

Ten years almost to the day of Kait’s first transfer we found out we were going to have a baby. 

Ten years of IVF and the casual comment, “I’d donate my eggs to you” and I was now carrying our baby.

 Lesbian Couple Conceived with IVF in sydney after 10 years of IVF treatment 

LGBTQ family conceived in Australia

Arlen David was born in August, during the height of the Covid-19 pandemic and Victoria’s second lockdown. 

He spent the first couple of days of his life in special care nursery on a CPAP machine. For the first 36 hours of his life, we could only touch him through a hole in the humidicrib. And then, late in the afternoon the day after he was born, one of the nurses said she was able to get him out of the humicrib with all of his wires but only one of us would be able to hold him. I didn’t even hesitate. With the same determination that I felt she asked me to marry her, I insisted Kait was the first one to hold our son.

Ten years of waiting. Ten years of hope and dreams and seeing them shattered with every negative or miscarriage. It all led to this moment.

 Lesbian Mum has Premie Baby in the NICU in Australia

I won’t ever forget the smile on her face. The road to motherhood wasn’t easy for her and the road for us to motherhood together was one that knew so many obstacles and heartbreaking choices. From more than 10,000 miles apart on opposite sides of the world to walking out of the hospital and taking our baby home.

We really had made it.

Lesbian and gay couple conceive after 10 years of IVF treatment

Kait and Christel xx

You can Follow Kait and Christel on Instagram @arlen_and_us




Posted in blog post, blog post TTC Lesbian Couple Donated Sperm to fall pregnant, Gay Couple get pregnant with IVF, IVF SUCCESS STORY, LESBAIN COUPLE, Lesbians met online and flew across the world to meet one another, Part of LGBTQ family conceived, TTC

One Child is Actually The Hardest. Go Figure!

Posted on July 19, 2017 by Amy Goller | 0 comments

Now that I'm a mother of 3 children I've worked something out and it actually makes no sense at all.

Having one baby is actually the hardest.

Mothers of one are reading this and shaking their heads.. I know how you look at mothers of multiple children.. you wonder how do they do it? You can clearly see that they have a newborn yet they still run around going to soccer practice, doctors appointments and cooking big dinners while you with one newborn baby are proud of yourself for just washing your hair and getting out the house that day. They are throwing birthday parties for the older children while you barely attended a coffee date on time. But believe it or not.. one child truely is the hardest and I'll tell you why.

You have no idea what you are doing:
Well here's a secret, neither do we! Yes we've done it before but by the time we get to our third we have made peace with the fact that we have N.F.I. We somehow fumble our way through without any aim of perfection but rather with just the aim of doing it.

We don't sweat the small stuff:
You know why? We don't notice it.

Your one child is your whole world:
Our worlds are chaotic, we run around from drop off to pick up barely finding a minute to breathe never mind focus on any one of our "worlds".

We don't play (very much) with our children:
I remember sitting on the playmat with my first bub for hours. We built blocks, sung Incy Wincy Spider together and looked at picture books together. I haven't done that for either of my subsequent babies.
My 5 year taught her younger sister how to spell her name, her colours and sung nursery rhymes to her. Yes I taught the first one but now I'm done. I have passed on the "teaching" baton. My baby will learn from her big sisters and I'm fine with that.
Lets just hope they know their stuff!

Routine is not as important to us.
I know routine is important, I'm a sleep consultant - of course it is!
But there's not much I can do about it. My daughters have to get to school, I can't worry about the babies morning nap. She has to just come along and sleep where and when she can.

I've stopped researching:
Before I had my first, I researched everything! Best pram, which suncream to use, Baby Led Weaning, which sippy cup promotes independence, and admittedly .. I once googled newborn poo. What To Expect When You're Expecting was my go-to reference book next to my bed. And you know what...? It doesn't actually help! Now I don't sit around dreading the next sleep regression or developmental stage but rather deal with each stage as it comes and know how quickly it will all pass.

We are already exhausted.
You live in hope of your baby sleeping through... we with multiple children know that there's always something and are used to sleepless nights and use coffee (and/or wine) to help us deal with that exhaustion. The exhaustion is new to you and hits you like a hurricane. We are used to ear aches, nightmares, wet beds and gastro through the night so our expectations are lower and like our babies are good at utilising the time we can get some sleep and take it where we can.

So I take my hat off to all you mums just learning the ropes. Oh and please give yourself a break - you are doing a fab job!
Bec xx 
Bellies and Beyond

Posted in Being A New Mum, Lessons Learned from A New Mum, Mum To One, Parenting Lessons

FEATURE: Liv Lundelius From Liv Life Magazine Reviews Our Mum & Bub Beanies

Posted on June 22, 2017 by Amy Goller | 0 comments

This Review was not sponsored. I was so excited to see the review and republish it here to let you browse the gorgeous photos and read this gorgeous feature xx Amy xx 

Dear Winter, here is a love letter...

Dear Winter,

Thank you, for giving us a reason to wear fun matching beanies that make my mama's heart jump and keep our ears warm and toasty.

Thank you, for crisp mornings, which make me move a little faster on my daily walks.

Thank you, for making spicy tea, turmeric latte and warm vegan banana bread taste extra good.

Thank you, for cosy snuggle times at home on the couch with extra blankets and time to watch good movies and read even better books.

Thank you, for letting me wear comfy vegan boots, that won't show that I don't have time for painted toenails right now.

Thank you, also from Dalston who has always loved the cooler days better.

Thank you from baby Faye, who loves our rugged up Winter walks and toasty playtimes indoors.

Thank you for being just cool enough to get our nice coats out but always mild enough to be spending time outdoors.

And lastly thank you for never overstaying your welcome, you just seem to know when its time to say goodbye.

Love Liv xo

Sustainable/Vegan Fashion in this post:
Our matching beanies in cotton knit with faux fur pompom are by local label My Tiny Wardrobe.
My boots are made from vegan Japanese suede by NYC Label Bhava.

Posted in Beanies, My Tiny Wardrobe Feature, My Tiny Wardrobe Press


Posted on June 07, 2017 by Amy Goller | 0 comments

Before I had kids (Isn't That a Phrase You Hear Often:) I was adamant that I was not going to use a dummy..... then the crying starts. Before I knew it, my first baby girl and her pink little dummy were inseparable.

Every parent deserves a little peace, right? I thought so and I felt absolutely great with my decision. I had dummies everywhere: in the pram; car seat; a purse in my bag full of them; 5 in her cot so she could find them at night; some back ups in the drawers at home. Even my mum and dad had one they kept as I would often pop by. 

My first insight into the fact that some people were going to judge me for using them came fast and close to home. My father in law: "Dummies are for dummy's ..... take it out". Immediately I felt judged. Did he have a screaming baby who cried for what seemed like forever at his house? NO! So I decided to make a dummy out of him. I'm sure you can imagine.......I left my screaming child with him for 10 minutes. What did I come back to, a dummy in her mouth and my Father In Law understood. 

After that, I pretty much made it known to anyone who had a say that I was A-OK with dummies and it's a parents choice. I had made my choice and felt great about it.

Weaning a toddler of the dummy

That was until my second baby girl was born and reached two years old. Now I had a two year old and a 3.5yr old who acted like parole officers of their dummies. It started that they would usually have them to sleep, then it progressed to when they were tired then it seemed they never NOT had one in their mouth!!! 

They would mumble words; cry when they didn't get one; ask in advance when they could have it and quite frankly that was a HEADACHE! There were days when I would forget to pack my dummie purse and the whole car ride was a crying, screaming mess. I felt like to cry. ENOUGH I thought!

And what gave me more resolve was when the girls were at daycare, they never had the dummy! Clearly I was either a pushover or daycare was more fun, but when around me they knew they could break me - aka: handover the dummy. And they did break me. I valued my sanity. It was a quick fix and it gave them joy.

INTRODUCING THE 'DUMMY FAIRY' (#genius #JustLikeSanta)

I always knew that Imaginary characters were incredibly useful when it came to bargaining with a feisty toddler (as is anyone who has told their little darling that Santa only visits tidy bedrooms will know). This is where the dummy fairy comes in. Like the tooth fairy, the dummy fairy turns up while your little one sleeps and takes away their dummy (in my house it was literally a bag full of dummies, 15 to be exact) and replaces it with an exciting gift.

I had let the girls know that the 'Dummy Fairy' was coming about a week in advance. Every time they wanted the dummy I would explain the concept. I knew my 3.5yr old understood as she asked a lot of questions, but I was convinced my 2yo had NO CLUE! I told them that the fairy would take the dummies to new babies in hospital who needed the dummies and they would be left with a BIG present. It was going smoothly. And if anything I let them have the dummy more in this week as I knew this was the last HOORAH so to speak.

 So, I made sure we started the weaning (COLD TURKEY HERE) on Friday night (As I knew I might need my husbands support if it was going pear shaped). Bedtime came and we had kept all of our other bedtime routines in place, then into bed with NO DUMMIES! I was petrified but GUESS WHAT? They both slept through the night. Sure I had to sit with them longer to get to sleep and maybe pat them just that little bit longer (Seriously, my arm was falling off) but it was worth it! 

The next day. The presents. OK, I may have gone overboard. But it was the 'Fairy' so no harm done and we opened the presents and the distraction was great. During that day our 2yo cried on and off and we had to distract, listen to it, soothe her with hugs and be CONSISTENT. One thing I have leaned with this 'Parenting Gig' is CONSISTENCY is KEY! Not for everything but for most. 

We are 6 DAYS DUMMY FREE TONIGHT! And we all feel good. We actually can't believe it was rather easy, we had prepared for way worse, but we were a team. And we have a dummy free house and love it.

******* FAST FORWARD A WEEK **********

We are still DUMMY FREE and both of the girls have only asked for the dummy a handful of times and I remind them of their presents and the fairy. And we push on through a slight stunned face. 

It is so nice to take a photo and neither of my girls has a dummy in! AMEN! 

The dummy Fairy Came Blog, written by an Australian Mother

What if it doesn't go so well?

Like everything in parenthood, if it proves too difficult and you are losing your sanity, you always have the option to give them the dummy. A happy parent is better for a child than a parent who is losing a battle and their emotional well being too. So be kind to yourself mums. This goes for everything in life, and in motherhood. Being a good parent means YOU ARE THE BEST MUM THEY HAVE! Don't be too hard on yourself. 

THE DUMMY FAIRY ISN'T FOR EVERYONE. There are a million other suggestions online that are available to you. So whatever you choose, stay calm and focused....


Amy xx 



Posted in Dummies, The 'Dummy Fairy', Toddlers With Dummies

FEATURE: Best Gift Ideas For A 2 Year Old - My Tiny Wardrobe Beanies

Posted on June 04, 2017 by Amy Goller | 0 comments


June Edit 2 Year Old Gifts

This month’s Edit is proudly presented by Little Bean Organics. Simply Organic Babywear.

A 1-year-old is a handful. They are now on the move, are pulling everything out of your Tupperware draw every hour and their day sleeps are slowly but surely getting shorter and shorter. By the time a child is 2, they are starting to show more of their personality, you can sometimes reason with them, and they will have strong obsessions for certain books, toys and TV characters!

I am lucky enough to have two boys, both somewhere either side of the 2-year-old age range so I have a little bit of insight into the second birthday event. With a 3-year-old as of next week, we are just finishing with having a “Terrible 2-Year-Old”, and in a blink of an eye my now 16-Month-Old will be 2 and we will be straight back into it! I have seen the age of 2 come and almost go, and I can see it once again on our horizon, and although I am happy one of the boys has made it through, I am excited for our next 2-year-old life experience and the fun we can have with them!

Buying a second birthday present is starting to edge into the really fun age. Most Dad’s like to buy their kids toys that are actually really for them, and most mums are having to start hiding their makeup from the little ladies in their life who just want to copy mum. 2-year-olds have strong likes and dislikes, and they are certainly not shy of telling (screaming at) the world when they don’t like something. Now the test is really on when you give a gift, not just to make the parents happy BUT to also make the toddler happy. Because if you don’t make the birthday person happy, you certainly won’t be invited back for the third birthday!  You need to put some serious thought into a 2-year-old’s birthday present, so read our blog and make sure you retain the title of #thefavouriteaunty.

The Cutest Clothes
White Frill Sleeve Romper

Photo: Little Bean Organics

Clothes are not only super cute and fun to shop for because who doesn’t want to buy mini-me clothing, but are also practical and something that little ones can really get attached too. Tonight, I am very lucky to be able to include in our Edit the brand new White Long Sleeve Embroidered Frill Sleeve Onesie for girls and the Short Sleeve ‘Shoot For The Moon’ Onesie for boys from the sponsor of this month’s Edit, Little Bean Organics. They have JUST launched these new pieces in collaboration with Hugo and Co, and each onesie comes with a bonus pair of knee high socks.

Equally stunning clothing options include the beautiful Sweety Long Sleeve Tee from Little Bubba, or fun party dresses including the Floral Pretty Little Dress from Love From Iylah or the beautiful Pinafore Dress from Stevie Wanders. Dresses are great for summer or winter gifts, and when the weather is cooling down, add a few layers and some tights and you are warm again!

One tip when buying clothes as the babes get older is sizing does become a little more complicated. If in doubt and you don’t want to ask the parents, just go for a size 3. My oldest was in size 3 from about 2 and a half and kids can always grow but they won’t shrink!

The Best Accessories
White Molly Bow

Photo: Little Bow Co

One fun thing about 2-year-olds is that they slowly stop pulling everything off their heads! A hat is no longer a constant struggle (which from around 9 months to 2 years is extremely frustrating!) and pretty headwear can now be an everyday thing.

For the girls a beautiful bow like the Blush Bow from Rose+Dot Co or the White Molly Bow from Little Bow Co is super fun and will finish an outfit. The absolutely stunning Dusty Pink Beanie from My Tiny Wardrobe is perfect for winter (and in very exciting news they have another 3 new colours to join their existing range of 8 very soon!) and come in mini me and me sized options!

The beautiful crochet bonnets with a vintage feel from Head Spinning Designs are really sweet and keep little heads warm, or for those still lucky enough to be seeing the sun, the Beau Loves Cap with Cat Ears from Eye 4 Kids Fashion is a great unisex cap to keep the sun off!

Whatever headwear you go with, is these are practical options that big and little people will both love!

The Coolest Toys
Tailor Made Tales

Photo: Tailor Made Tales

A toy will go a long way to get in the good books with little people and keep you up there as #thefavouriteaunty. EVERY time we go anywhere near a shop or I say I have a surprise, my almost 3-year-old always asks about toys. But when thinking about toys, please always go the quality over the quantity route.

The stunning Chime Xylophone from BabyNoise is so classic and will fill a home with beautiful sounds, and the Stacking Rocket from Young Willow is so classic and durable it will be something passed on to siblings or cousins. Sticking with the wooden theme, and although not technically a toy, the amazing bamboo dinner plates from Emondo Kids will ensure meal times are so much fun. I recently bought these for my boys and their plates are always cleared within 5 minutes when they get to eat off Puddles The Platypus or Waldo The Wombat.

Or, go that extra little step and get something personalised. I absolutely love the beautiful books made by Tailor Made Tales. Kim will create a personalised story with your own photos and one of my favourites in the range is the My Daddy and Me Personalised Story. It makes the perfect birthday present and I can see it being a winner come Father’s Day.

The Most Stylish Décor
Pink Kids Rocking Chair

Photo: Hobbe

I could talk for hours on décor, and a 2-year-old’s room is starting to go through an overhaul from nursery to kid’s bedroom which is so much fun to decorate. The walls can be updated with decals, like the Safari Large Scene Kids Cartoon Decal from Red Pandal Wall Stickers, or with adding one of the lovely Dream Big Scrabble Art Frames from Love Letter Frame Co. The stuffed toys on the shelves are on the way out, and the Black Hanging Robot from Izzy and Pea is a cool boy’s bedroom accessory, and as a mum of two boys I can tell you fun boys décor is hard to find!

A bed is generally not far off being introduced to replace a cot, and with that comes time for a linen overhaul. For those with starfish wiggly sleepers, the BedZee Toddler Blanket is a great way of keeping the covers on overnight with their amazing velcro & zip combos. Or, for those just adding some extra pretty accessories, why not grab one of the brand-new pillow cases from The Young Co. Tamara has only JUST introduced standard sized pillow cases to her range in similar fabric to the cot sheets everyone has already fallen in love with, and I can see these pillow cases won’t be limited to the kids. I am trying to work out which pattern goes best for my bed already!

Lastly, but definitely not least, a beautiful gift that will be used for years to come is the Children’s Rocking Chair from Hobbe. Every little person wants a seat that is just for them, and when it is just so beautiful it will certainly be loved. We are lucky enough to have my Father in Laws rocking chair from when he was a child, that my husband has memories sitting in, and now my boys love to play in. While sadly it isn’t a Hobbe (but we do have a Hobbe rocker that I fit in and LOVE), it just shows a gift like this won’t be forgotten come Christmas.

The Most Luxurious Gifts for Mum
Amelia Kate Family Photography

Photo: Amelia Kate Photography

As we start to hit the 2-year-old mark it really is becoming less about mum, BUT I still think something the whole family can enjoy is a great idea. Last year we did a family photo shoot and it was so nice to have some new photos with us and all with our extended family, and I felt much more comfortable carrying almost no “baby weight” in comparison to all those loved up newborn shots. For those of you in Perth, make sure you check out Amelia Kate Photography. She does amazing photos and I love all her candid shots like the one above!

When they hit 2, kids really are starting to become interested in the present and not just the wrapping paper. Their communication skills are really kicking in, they make it quite clear what they do and don’t like and their faces don’t lie. If they don’t like your present or find it boring you will see the second they tear off the wrapping paper. When you are stuck for what to buy, take some advice from someone in the know to get a bit of a head start on buying the best gift, and to make sure you are #thefavouriteaunty.

Posted in Beanies, Feature Article, My Tiny Wardrobe Feature

Mothers Shaming Mothers

Posted on May 11, 2017 by Amy Goller | 0 comments

I have noticed on social media lately there’s been a lot of ‘Mummy Shaming’. This shaming isn’t exclusive to popular motherhood accounts or bloggers; it seems shaming is become a popular way of interacting with any account on social media, whether you have a big following or not. Positive and encouraging comments on someones posts or photos is becoming rare. There seems to be an increasing number of ‘trolls’ typing nasty things on people’s accounts. Some may believe that negative comments are part and parcel of sharing your life on a social platform, or if you decide to openly publicise something about yourself, you are indeed opening yourself up to both positive and negative comments. I have read comments from people who type negative material stating they are allowed to have an opinion and are openly displaying that in a public scenario. They ARE entitled to have their opinion, however to who and how is this negative ridicule beneficial?

Shaming and bullying does not benefit anyone. It only serves as a poor reflection of the person on the other side of the keyboard, not the person in the firing line. The person on the receiving end of the ridicule isn’t a better person for reading it, it doesn’t give them a thicker skin or teach them a lesson. Negative comments or trolling doesn’t benefit either party; it’s just down right nasty and unnecessary. Ridicule only highlights the flaws and problem of the person doing the typing. I’m sure if the boot was on the other foot, these ‘trolls’ would feel horrible reading the same comments directed at their lives or families.

Now, I am sure at some point I have spoken negatively about another mother for the way she parents – I will be the first to put my hand up and say I am guilty for this in the past. I used to scroll through social media and judge other mothers, solely based on the square photo on my phone screen, somehow thinking this one photo allowed me to know everything about that particular person. I also used to judge mothers before I even had children – like I was such an expert on parenting and knew what was best for their family. I had to ask myself – how did this negativity benefit my life? I didn’t feel better about myself for comparing my life with someone I didn’t know. It didn’t make me a better person for judging someone else. It also didn’t stop the person I was judging from posting the content they wanted – ultimately it’s their account and they can post what they please. I CHOSE to follow this person.

I have learnt to celebrate our differences as mothers and parents. Different family dynamics, cultures and personal upbringing contribute to the way parents want to raise their children. I cannot sit here and declare my way of parenting is the best way for everyone, yet I can say with all certainty that the way my husband and I parent our children is the best or our family. So if I begin to see myself judging another parent, I follow this mantra- If their child(ren) is happy, healthy and thriving, they’re a good parent. If they parent their child(ren) with love and respect, they’re a good parent. If they nurture their child(ren) in a safe and secure environment, they’re a good parent.

Unfortunately, even if you are a good mother, you cannot please everyone – people will find something they do not agree with, which is just human nature. You cannot live your life or parent to please everyone you come across. That would just be stressful and an expectation you would never meet.

So I ask you to do something after you finish reading this blog post. If you are on social media and see something you do not agree with, keep scrolling or unfollow. Keep the negative comments to yourself and only follow content which inspires you, motivates you or makes you happy. I also ask you to unfollow me if you do not like what I post or the content in my blog. If what I write offends you or isn’t something you don’t want to see, please feel free to remove me from your feed. I unfollow or scroll past things I do not like, too. I have friends and family who have unfollowed me since I started this blog, which I am seeing as more of a positive than a negative now. I would much rather someone not follow me than say negative things towards me. I want to be followed by people who are interested in myself and my family and enjoy what they read on my blog. I began Raising Wildlings for this exact reason – to meet and engage with other like-minded mothers who want to support one another through the joys and challenges of parenthood. I follow accounts which I enjoy and am interested in. When I look through my feed I don’t want to feel angry, frustrated or bored by what I see – I want to engage with the people who engage with me.

Australian Mum Blogger writing about Instagram Trolls

The phase I was taught as a child still resonates with me today – “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. If you do not like something on social media, you have the choice to scroll past or remove that person from your feed. Being a keyboard warrior does not benefit you or the person in the firing line, it just frankly makes you look bad. Let’s keep our social media platforms full of support, understanding and good vibes only. Swap the eye roll emojis or toxic words for the unfollow button. Understand that you do not know what is happening in this person’s life, apart from what they post. We all like to post the best things about ourselves, and are reluctant to post about our battles or more personal issues. Understand that the mother(s) you are following is/are posting what they WANT you to see – there’s a lot that they don’t wish to share with you too.

Keep you heads held high ladies, you’re doing a great job!

Jaimie Orchard xx 

Posted in Conscience Parenting, Internet Trolls, Mummy Shaming, Social Media Trolls

FEATURE: Fast Five Questions with Amy From My Tiny Wardrobe

Posted on April 01, 2017 by Amy Goller | 0 comments

This Article Was FEATURED about My Tiny Wardrobe - THE BRAND. How Amy Started a Successful Small Business Start Up Company from Nothing and turned it into a Full Time Job! Featured on the 20/3/17 with the gorgeous lovelies behind the brand:


Fast Five with Amy from @mytinywardrobesydney...

Fast Five with Amy from @mytinywardrobesydney...

Well here we are guys, with our first 'Fast five' of the 2017. Over here at Debonair and Darling, we LOVE our biz mums. The one's hustling late into the night, often into the early hours of the morning. The one's juggling #MumLife and #BizLife, leaving the rest of us wondering, 'I don't know how she does it!?', and that's why we love to shine a little spotlight on them, to share the love! This week, we are chatting with the fabulous Amy from 'My Tiny Wardrobe' or @mytinywardrobesydney on Insta. She's a HUGE mum biz supporter herself, often taking the time to shoutout to, or show some love to others, so we thought, it's time to shine some light on her. So sit back, and enjoy, this is one you don't wanna miss! Kirsty xx



1. How did ‘My Tiny Wardrobe' come about? What was the inspiration behind starting your own business? 
My Tiny Wardrobe started as ‘motherhood’ changed me. I wanted to be with my girls and watch them grow & not leave them to return to Full Time Work. And lets face it, once you have two babies under 2 running around, my day to day attire was pyjamas. Couldn’t go back to the city in PJ’s (Wink Wink)
My dream for My Tiny Wardrobe is to use the business to encourage other mums to work from home if they can, and provide them with a platform to sell their designs. I am currently collaborating with women designers who are raising children in Australia, the United States, and the United Kingdom. It is a collection of working mummy designers, photographers, and suppliers, all woven together to empower women through small business.
I was inspired by my 2 girls, and the realisation when they were born that life is too short to not chase your dreams! And I wanted to show my children that anything is possible. I’m not going to sugar coat it and say it was easy. Before launching my business I didn’t even have a personal Instagram page! Seriously, I thought Facebook was “trending”. I had no idea. What a learning curve I have loved riding the wave of. 
If you LOVE Photography or Love Marketing or you LOVE TO DESIGN, SEW, PRINT, STITCH and would love to do that while your little ones play under your desk at home, it's possible. In creating this brand, I stepped out of the corporate world to design a future for myself and my family, and other mums who would join this collection of creatives, all working from home!

2. How do you juggle #MumLife AND running a business? Like when the whole family is sick, and you just don’t feel like getting on with it, what helps you to do that?
I can’t say I juggle it with ease. NO. It is hard. But it is also wonderful.
I Plan Ahead.
I ask for help if I need to work.
I work hard while the girls nap or late at night.
I unleash my stress and my sometimes inability to juggle both kids and work by talking it out. I talk to Biz mums I’ve met on Instagram & they encourage me. I ask my hubby and he reassures me. 
I stop somedays and prioritise the girls. 
Other days I plan whether would need to encourage independent play so I can work a little while they are still near me.

3. If you could collaborate with anyone in the industry, who would it be? So, what's your dream collaboration?
I would want to collaborate with Minty Magazine and write a piece on Fashion and Biz Mums Supporting Mums and other Biz Mums in the industry.

4. What are you top 3, most important things in life? 
1. Health 
I have suffered with a Muscle Disease for 15 years now. It can be so debilitating and has caused me to suffer not only pain but anxiety. I sometimes survive a day, instead of living the day. I WON’T LET THAT DEFINE ME THOUGH. I have always said “Your health is your Wealth!”. How can you look after a business and children if you don’t have your health and fill your happiness cup to the brim. MUMS I AM TALKING TO YOU, It is NOT selfish to put yourself FIRST sometimes. When you feel energised and happy, your children will benefit. 
2. Family
My Family is my world. I could not imagine life without them. OK, some days, the children push my buttons so hard, that I play hide and seek just to hide somewhere tricky and get a break hahahaha. But at the end of the day, they are my people!
3. Kindness
Just that. To be kind. A smile to a stranger could change there whole day. Asking someone “How are You” might just allow them to unload a worry they have. BE KIND. GIVE BACK. LOVE IS IN THE DETAILS.

5. If you were stranded on a desert island and could only take ONE person with you, and ONE item, who would you take, and what would you bring?
Oh this is easy! I’d take Tom Hanks & he would bring Wilson. Lets face it, he knows how to get an island. As after a while, I would need to get off that island and come home to my loves! 

Posted in Feature Article, Get to Know My Brand, My Tiny Wardrobe Press, Press

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