Baby number 4 is coming!! So number 4... I expected it to be a breeze,walk in the park and a total easy pregnancy (am I stupid or what).
A sunny care free holiday with our three babies and lots of family and friends , a two week stay in northern Cyprus, we swam ,sunbathed, stayed up late and I even had a cocktail or two, that's a big thing as I'm not a drinker, so how bloody typical is that I decided to have a fe very strong and very yummy cocktails that holiday?
It was the last day and it was sooooooo hot, I'm meaning it was red hot, 40+ in temperature, anyway I'd been feeling a little off and I'd said to serks maybe I have a baby in there (I was hugely joking) we were not planning a baby as raulf was just one and his birth left us a bit shook and worried to have another.
So home time came, the flight was the biggest fail of parenthood EVER we lost mellies diddy (dummy) didn't have iPads and had a day time flight so raulf and mellie had full blown tantrums for the full six hours, I cried they cried, I looked at the emergency EXIT a number of times and nearly lost my shit!!
Theo and serks behaved very well for me tho haha ,Theo is old enough to entertain himself and to of course recognise my unstable crazed mumma look of death so he knows when to just sleep (angel haha).
So we landed back in the UK and i headed straight to the nearest boots pharmacy to get a pregnancy test, I didn't actually know why I was getting one as I really had no feelings that I was pregnant or that I'd missed a period, how I didn't know I'd missed my period I'll never know, clearly to much fun being had on our hols.
Back home and I peed on the test and left for a second and bang!!! Pregnant!! All I could do was laugh and go tell serks and actually all he did was laugh?
So that's how we found out, a shock but a happy one..isshh it always takes a while to gather your feelings and for you to actually get it "pregnant " again!
So as my pregnancy progressed, so did my anxiety and stress levels, and some days I'm like a crazed mother I worry about stupid things and stress about stuff that doesn't even matter.
I think because I had bad PND in my last pregnancy I have felt a lot of pressure put on me but only by myself no one else! I didn't enjoy or get excited about being pregnant until I was 4 months + how awful is that, it does make me feel bad as I was so excited with the other three from day one, but life experiences change you, right?
To this day I have still not purchased a thing for the baby myself (I have been sent some amazing bits by brands ) but I'm slowly feeling ready to nest and start making our home ready for the new arrival, and start spending money on our baby girl bump!
COPING WITH THREE
Let's face it, when a mother you become: master of bribery; sweets; toys; movies; just please shhhhh!!! Having three children, 9, 2 and 1 is super crazy at the best of times, I mean how do you keep three little people all interested in one thing or even get that , awwwww look at them playing so sweetly moments, everyday, it doesn't happen!! But being pregnant and still having to manage three is just stupid CRAZY. I'm sure there should be a. please let the government start fundings for nannys haha, obviously that's a joke (que debate) I can't catch a nap these days not like I did with my first or even second and you don't get time to sit and just look at your bump wriggle and jump, that's the little things I miss, it's hard going but nothing I'd change, well actually I'd 100% change the nap situation that's for sure! But when I do actually step back a look at my screaming moody children haha not really, my babies are all beautiful and so perfect I couldn't possibly describe them to the justice they deserve! My children really do complete me and make my life worth it!
I think as a mother we turn into non sleeping robot who sometimes has meltdowns and need to be reacharged haha.but that's okay, who wants to be the perfect wife, mother and all round human? How dull!
I do want to sit in a cupboard most days and hide from the children when their all at their most horrible ,hyper messy and noisy times (I really wouldn't fit tho so I hide in the kitchen for 5 minutes instead haha) but like I said it's all part of the roll!
Tantrums do seem harder to deal with and arguments seem ten times worse when my pregnant body is aching and I'm in need of sleep so I do have a moan!
Okay so let's leave the tantrums behind because we all know that they are normal and not going anywhere haha.
My body has changed and that's completely okay! I can see my growing bump I see my growing arms and growing thighs, (let's not talk about my arse 😂) I'm in no way perfect or a "hot mumma" but I feel healthy and I'm okay with my small weight gain, I see a lot of mothers to be expecting upset on their personal weight gain, be proud of your body it's growing your beautiful baby!
I feel to much pressure sometimes to look thin whilst pregnant and to remain super styled and make up on, hair perfect all day , and I'm like, what the frock!!!! I want to be comfortable, I'm growing, I'm hurting I'm tiered and have three other children to care for. I have to clean a house, cook and remain mentally stable! So I'm being daggy! I'm being scruffy and I'm staying grounded!
Pregnancy isn't easy and it's a hard road to go down but look what's at the end of this road! A miracle! A perfect addition to our family!
And how bloody lucky are we anyway, so much sadness surrounding pregnancy or even beginning to try for a family, some people have it hard right at the start!