I haven't always been this way. It's taken a long time to learn to love myself and I think I really turned a corner when I had my daughter. Becoming a mother taught me how to love myself because I want to be the best role model I can be for her. Especially as I want to raise my daughter to know the value and importance of being happy from within. This all starts with me! I also think it's so important as women to be good role models and support and uplift each other.
As much as you see the amazing love, encouragement and sisterhood that is all around in this day and age there is still the unpleasant side of people that I see much too often.
I am not one to bring someone else down to make myself feel better so I really don't understand why people do it. Does it really make you feel better about yourself knowing you've upset or hurt someone else's feelings?
For example I recently experienced someone asking me if I 'eat'. We were having a conversation in person and they said that I wasn't this 'tiny' before I was pregnant, 'Are you sure you're eating'. They told me I have lost a lot of weight in such a small amount of time. Looking me up and down as if surveying something hideous while they were sucking on a lemon they continued to tell me that my legs are 'SO THIN' and my collar bones are sticking out. Responding to what must have been the shocked expression on my face they said 'they were only asking because they were concerned and wanted to make sure I was taking care of myself as well as my baby' (of course!).
I was shocked by whole exchange but mainly because of the way this person bought it up. If they were genuinely concerned you would think they would have gone about approaching me in a different manner. I felt personally attacked and in turn hurt and angry.
Which is why I wanted to write this blog. Since having Alina my body has changed, I have lost my baby weight and I am in fact smaller than I was before I had her. I am not thin, sickly or unwell looking! I am healthy. Because I have lost weight I now have some loose skin on my stomach, my butt is flat, I have a stretched belly button from carrying my baby and although it may sound like nothing, it's taken me some getting used to. I am at times a little self conscious of the above, which is normal. I don't place pressure on myself to work out to tighten my skin, tone my ass or get back to where I was pre Alina. But it doesn't mean I don't have insecurities like everyone else just because I am confident with my body.
This person didn't know my insecurities, and even though you can't see them through my clothes doesn't mean they don't exist. Because I'm smaller does this mean that it is ok for someone to comment on my weight in a negative way? Imagine if I said to this person 'Oh, you have put on so much weight in such a small amount of time. Your muffin top is sticking out! Are you sure you're taking care of yourself?!' This would have caused outrage, and rightly so. It's rude and hurtful.
Where am I going with this? We should all be mindful of what we say and how we treat each other. We don't know what someone else is going through or what they're feeling. The things we say and the way we say them can make all the difference to someone's state of mind. I'm lucky that I take things like this with a grain of salt and quickly brush it off and get on with being awesome!! I just know that it's not so easy for others.
So next time you go to comment on someone's appearance in any form that isn't a compliment. Stop and think how you would feel if the same was done to you!
Spread The Love, Always Spread The Love xx