No Mother Has Her Shit Together........

Posted on November 04, 2015 by Amy Goller | 0 comments

I know the comment should have made me feel like I'd finally made it as a mother and for a second it did, but the next second I realised that I had done a shocking thing.. Here's the comment I received after one of my last blogs "you seem to have it so together. You even write articles about it". I bet even if you reread it you won't even be able to work out why I was so upset about this statement. There were more, and one by one I felt more disappointed in myself "Bec, your an amazing mother, you have the most wonderful take on parenting", "How good are you" and it went on.. And as the comments kept rolling in I felt more and more ashamed. Here's why....
Motherhood is toughIt's no joke.
Yes it is about loving these beautiful tiny humans that I take pride in having created but I don't have time to sit and dwell on that during the day because I'm just too busy. Busy wiping bums, looking for a lost shoe, being ordered around by my 2 year old, stopping my 10 month old from putting another leaf in her mouth (my friend actually found a flower in her mouth the other day - true story), singing to annoying songs that get stuck in my brain for days and participating in pretend play for so long that I do start wondering whats actually reality.

Sometimes motherhood is just about coping. Its being able to laugh at yourself when you reach into your bag to get your business card and you pull out a half eaten cruskit, a crayon, a used wipe and something else so sticky and you don't even know what it was. I've had days where I put them to bed at  night and just congratulate myself on having fed the children three nutritious meals and kept them alive another day. I shut their doors and expect a standing ovation and some kind of award ceremony. I don't congratulate myself on how I taught them to be upstanding, god fearing, well rounded, well adjusted, happy children. No I congratulate myself for KEEPING THEM ALIVE peoples! Because sometimes that's all that I can hope for. 

So I realised that I've committed a few sins and I'm going to fess up to you. I've made you believe that I have my shit together and I really don't.

SHIT TOGETHER LIE #1: Dry Shampoo. I go through a bottle a week. So when you ask me how do I get time to get the girls ready in the morning, get dressed and shower and wash my hair. I didn't. Fake it till you make it. Dry Shampoo it all the way.

SHIT TOGETHER LIE #2: Instagram. Just remember I'm not posting photos of Rafaella's reflux vomit  artistically painted all the way down my back. No, I'm posting photos of being out for drinks with my husband, or chilling at the Western in Seminyak.

SHIT TOGETHER LIE #3: I cope with the balance of work/motherhood. This is where I feel like I have failed all Bellies and Beyond mothers and I am completely all about the working mother. I raise my fist and say power to the working mama! I have received a few messages asking me how I have managed to work and have kids. Those that also know me well know that my hubby (Gd love him) works insane hours. Let me tell you, I.HAVE.A.POSSE.OF.HELP behind me. I have a mighty ducks formation of fam backing me up. I am so lucky that I am surrounded by people that love to take care of my kids. So lets shut that one down right shit is only somewhat together because of the posse.

This is what I've decided. Next time your at a play date and the mother pulls out her homemade bread with her homemade half peanut butter, half free-nut butter, take a deep breathe and don't go into the head space of omg how does she get time for everything...remember whats important! And the next time your giving your child delicious, processed packet food and the other mum giving their child organic, wheat free, gluten free, salt free, sugar free, everything free snacks.. don't let her give you those judgemental eyes and make you feel like a neglectful mother. Don't be down on yourself because you didn't think of that. Yes she's got the food thing down pat but she probably doesn't have her shit together in so many other ways. 

From now on I want you to look at me and see my tired eyes because my baby needed a few extra cuddles throughout the night, I want you to look at my clothes and realise that yes I might be wearing a Sass & Bide top, but I also wore it yesterday (and possibly even the day before) because Rafi was too frustrated on the floor to play so I had to hold her and I didn't have time to choose a new outfit. Look at my house and you'll see its a mess.. I couldn't get my shit together to clean my dishes because half way through it Mikah wanted to have a tea party with me and I couldn't (and didn't want to) say no. You'll see loads of dirty laundry piling up because I dug a hole in the dirt and made it mud so we could all have fun making mud cakes together...
Very standard in my house. Mud cakes really are more important.

Can you see what I'm trying to say? Mothers who don't have their shit together make for the most fantastic mothers. They are the ones that are spending every waking minute wondering how they can make their children's lives that much more magical. They are the ones that are trying to enhance every moment and make memories that last forever (for both mother and child). They are the ones that are not the teachers but rather the students, they are learning from their children about whats truly important in life. 

So next time you are overwhelmed and comparing yourself to the mother who seems to have it all together, just remember - Mothers who don't have their shit together are the best mothers of all
This Blog was written by Rebecca Abraham - Also known as the 'Sleep Expert'.
Rebecca Abraham is a baby sleep consultant. Drawing upon her training as an early childhood educator, infant massage therapist, pre- and post-natal doula and sleep consultant, she has a uniquely multidisciplinary approach to your issues and thus can help you and your family develop a personalized and holistic sleep plan that suits you and your child. To find out more go to:
Instagram: @belliesandbeyond
Facebook: Bellies and Beyond

Posted in Baby Sleep, Baby Sleep Expert, Humerous, Love, Motherhood, Parenting, Real life parentig, Rebecca Abraham, The Real Truth, The Reality of Parenting, Two under two

Pro's & Cons of Travelling with Kids

Posted on October 14, 2015 by Amy Goller | 0 comments

Our little family has travelled a lot since the birth of our daughter, who we lovingly call "Cheese".
We have flown internationally with her since  she was only 3 months old, for necessity – from New York (where we were living at the time) back to Australia and Hawaii to see family, and to Canada to get our visas renewed.
If we hadn’t needed to travel so much we would have probably been too scared to do so, as Cheese was a really tough baby, toddler, and, let’s face it, a tough preschooler. Being forced to travel was actually great because it made us get out and experience the world and create wonderful memories instead of staying home and just keeping to local, easy experiences.
My biggest advice to families thinking of travelling with young kids is to just do it. It will be tiring, it will be tough, but it will be worth it. Still weighing it up? Here are what I think are a few pros and cons of travelling with little kids.


You still get to travel
My husband and I love travelling passionately. It’s an integral part of who we are. We were determined that when we had a kid that our travel would resume as soon as possible. We didn’t expect parenthood to be as hard as it was, but we are getting on with the difficulties while still seeing the world. We don’t want to wait until Cheese grows up to see everything we want to see – we want to experience as much as we can while we are also still young and fit enough to enjoy it. As I write this, we are in Barcelona, about to head out for tapas lunch. Travelling with a little kid is obviously a lot different than pre-kid (goodbye lazy mornings and romantic nights fueled by sangria!) but it is still incredibly enjoyable. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t do it. Adapt to the changes and travel is still wonderful, with kids of any age.

Your kid grows up a world citizen
Cheese is an American and Australian citizen. As well as significant travel in these two countries, she’s also been to Canada, Mexico, Spain and soon London. And she’s only 3. She already adapts to different cultures easily and speaks handfuls of Italian and Spanish. She understands what different languages mean and is able to confidently interact with people no matter what they look like or what language they speak. She is already a world citizen.

The memories are priceless
The years we spent in New York are among the best in my life. Each trip we have taken has been challenging, but has created memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Cheese at 1.5 yrs stroking a dolphin in Hawaii. At 2.5 yrs dashing down a beach in Mexico. At 3.5 yrs dancing in a rainbow inside the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona.

Young kids are cheap
The younger your kid is, the cheaper it is to travel with them. Babies are free for everything, and kids up to a certain age get free transport/entry/hotel pull out beds. This trip to Barcelona, we’ve only had to pay for Cheese’s flight and food.


It’s exhausting
I won’t lie, it’s really hard work travelling with a little kid. Jetlag is a killer – the first few mornings in Barcelona we were all up at 4am. Having a little kid means there is no such thing as a relaxing time either, it’s constantly go go go to keep them entertained.

You see and do less
Travel with a little kid means changing your expectations of what you’re going to see and do in any location. Less galleries and historical walking tours and more playgrounds and kid-friendly outings like castles.

All in all, it’s worth it to us to travel while Cheese is still young. We have such itchy feet that we can’t seem to live any other way.

Christine Knight is a Sydney-based writer. Her blog, Adventure, Baby!, is a guide to navigating the world and parenthood. Follow her travel, food and parenting mishaps over TwitterPinterestFacebook, and Instagram.

Posted in barcelona, business, cons, holiday, kids, oversees, parenting, pros, real parenting, travel, traveling, traveling with kids