One Child is Actually The Hardest. Go Figure!

Posted on July 19, 2017 by Amy Goller | 0 comments

Now that I'm a mother of 3 children I've worked something out and it actually makes no sense at all.

Having one baby is actually the hardest.

Mothers of one are reading this and shaking their heads.. I know how you look at mothers of multiple children.. you wonder how do they do it? You can clearly see that they have a newborn yet they still run around going to soccer practice, doctors appointments and cooking big dinners while you with one newborn baby are proud of yourself for just washing your hair and getting out the house that day. They are throwing birthday parties for the older children while you barely attended a coffee date on time. But believe it or not.. one child truely is the hardest and I'll tell you why.

You have no idea what you are doing:
Well here's a secret, neither do we! Yes we've done it before but by the time we get to our third we have made peace with the fact that we have N.F.I. We somehow fumble our way through without any aim of perfection but rather with just the aim of doing it.

We don't sweat the small stuff:
You know why? We don't notice it.

Your one child is your whole world:
Our worlds are chaotic, we run around from drop off to pick up barely finding a minute to breathe never mind focus on any one of our "worlds".

We don't play (very much) with our children:
I remember sitting on the playmat with my first bub for hours. We built blocks, sung Incy Wincy Spider together and looked at picture books together. I haven't done that for either of my subsequent babies.
My 5 year taught her younger sister how to spell her name, her colours and sung nursery rhymes to her. Yes I taught the first one but now I'm done. I have passed on the "teaching" baton. My baby will learn from her big sisters and I'm fine with that.
Lets just hope they know their stuff!

Routine is not as important to us.
I know routine is important, I'm a sleep consultant - of course it is!
But there's not much I can do about it. My daughters have to get to school, I can't worry about the babies morning nap. She has to just come along and sleep where and when she can.

I've stopped researching:
Before I had my first, I researched everything! Best pram, which suncream to use, Baby Led Weaning, which sippy cup promotes independence, and admittedly .. I once googled newborn poo. What To Expect When You're Expecting was my go-to reference book next to my bed. And you know what...? It doesn't actually help! Now I don't sit around dreading the next sleep regression or developmental stage but rather deal with each stage as it comes and know how quickly it will all pass.

We are already exhausted.
You live in hope of your baby sleeping through... we with multiple children know that there's always something and are used to sleepless nights and use coffee (and/or wine) to help us deal with that exhaustion. The exhaustion is new to you and hits you like a hurricane. We are used to ear aches, nightmares, wet beds and gastro through the night so our expectations are lower and like our babies are good at utilising the time we can get some sleep and take it where we can.

So I take my hat off to all you mums just learning the ropes. Oh and please give yourself a break - you are doing a fab job!
Bec xx 
Bellies and Beyond

Posted in Being A New Mum, Lessons Learned from A New Mum, Mum To One, Parenting Lessons

Battlefield in the Bedroom - Kid's & Clothes

Posted on October 07, 2015 by Amy Goller | 0 comments

Guest Blogger Lauren Hunt 

Oh how I miss the days when I could buy gorgeous little matching outfits and dress my baby girl in whatever I wanted...but that was back before she had an opinion and learnt that she could protest certain items of clothing if she didn't want to wear them.

I remember it all changing around about the time she turned two - we were looking for a cute little birthday party outfit for her, and came home with a blue T-shirt (sequins on the shoulders I might add) and fluro pink shorts (from good old Target). 

For quite a few months after that, Miss M insisted on only wearing clothes she had worn before, she liked her old daggy, comfy pants and tops. Anything new was off limits - so I quickly learnt not to waste my money on expensive items but stick to cheapy stuff that didn't matter if she refused to wear it. Oh and tags MUST be cut off!

Next I tried letting her choose items at the shop to see if that would make a difference - because as all us mums know, the time when they need new clothes rolls around rather quickly. They've either been washed too many times and turn a dull grey colour, don't fit any more or are for the wrong season. I was lulled into a false sense of security spending up at Big W - but did she wear any of the things she chose? No!

 These days her issues seem to have evolved - that it isn't the clothing she has an issue with, but getting dressed full stop. We've tried everything; letting her choose, daddy doing it before he goes to work, breakfast first/after, and many more strategies. She procrastinates, she has to sort out her dolly, or get a specific toy, she'll try every avoidance tactic in the book. Some warm days she'll insist on wearing long sleeves, wont wear a jacket on cold days, and the other day she insisted on wearing her favourite seahorse PJ top to go out with her Namna... It can be very stressful on mornings when we have to be out the door for work and child care by 7:30!

 So my little girl isn't a fashionista, nor does she love dresses and tutus but that's ok. She'll evolve and find her own style I'm sure. I really had to make a conscious effort to let things go - and pick my battles. What really matters? Being clothed? Yes. Coordinating tops & pants? Not so much. Socks & shoes on a hot day? Not ideal but she'll learn to tell me if she gets hot.

In the mean time I'm having a baby boy in 3 months who I can start shopping for!! I've started collecting some cute bonds zippy's!

Can you relate to our story? And tactics that have worked for you?


Lauren Hunt

Mummy/teacher blogger from Adelaide, SA

Posted in Australia, Kids and Clothes, Lauren Hunt, Parenting Lessons